told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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