8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
