spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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