I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize