It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
