My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
