dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
