i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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