you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
