Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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