After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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