No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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