So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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