I didn't shave. On purpose
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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