Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
