She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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