it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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