Whoa Z and x make the same sound
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
