I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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