As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
