Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
