...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
