I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
