11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
