tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
