Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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