Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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