help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
