Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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