So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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