I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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