I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
