super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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