How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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