tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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