I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
