Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
