DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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