I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Never underestimate the power of titties
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
