My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
