I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
