I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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