Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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