We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think weed is turning my hair brown
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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