More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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