ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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