Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i think my cat just said my name.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
