hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
