At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
