I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
